#19: Smells like hush-money...

On a recent visit to the Nottingham home of Luke "Anwar" Ferrit, London artists Daniel Oliver and Luke his long-term colaborator were caught out with their masks off. As the haphazard performance act AuntyNazi the Contract Impressionist duo are famously secretive when it comes to revealing just what it is we're in for when we shell the bucks to come unstuck at one of their shows.


Signed to deliver the goods at Nick Turner's Chameleon Lounge this past August, the two nipped out on a prop hunt in Nottingham centre and made a beeline for discount store T.K.Max. A source close to the artists who by chance happened to be in the store checking out a pair of skinny denims said she saw the shop-girl go scarlet in the kisser when they presented her with a list of last minute items required for the upcoming gig at the Chameleon.

"Goggles, yes, swimsuits, yes, paddling pool, water guns, see the kiddies section, hose pipe, towels, yes, calipers no, and erm... lube? Not here, unfortunately, guys!"

Luckily the former Notts art-scenesters are well-known in the city for their wily ways and the T.K.Maxette saw the funny side. The guys even slipped her 2 tickets for the show! Hmmm... Smells like hush-money to me.

#18: Ready! Set! It's time to get wet! It's AuntyNazi//R:Core...

#17: The Spa Stick

Daniel has his sleeping bag back. This is extra (its just part of it)unlike the Oxfam Carrier Bag, which was, of course, the whole thing. Otherwise it wouldn't have caused so much trouble. The bag, for sleeping, was returned by Johnathon Waring, who is now in Reactor (see pasttimes). Perhaps if he'd been there during the whole WAP exchange incident (bag - Oxfam) there wouldn't be the _king licensing knightmare we have now. Don't stress though, or do, then come for de-stress at the Spa - phase 4teen.

auntynazi make me a 0000210 - Johnathon Waring - returning the sleeping bag

#16: AuntyNazi are planning 4 YOU!

Luke & Daniel have a plan, you’ll

Wonder if they read the manual

But their methods are sound and tested

(as in they’ve yet to both be arrested)

Females shall be free to pass

Note: men must bring along a lass

Or possibly face polite refusal

You know the crack, it’s not unusual

Drip’n’touch techniques afoot

In your costumes come’n’strut

Show disdress just where to go

With hydra-therapeutic blow.

Delirious juice’n’jaunts in flow

Form relaxation radicals so

Never mind the [revolution]

It’s AuntyNazi Therapeution

So come and joy

In the splendour of spa

It’s who you could be

Not who you are

AuntyNazi reach out to you

With two begloved right hands, a length

Of rubber hose and shout to you:

“Come one, come all, it’s Phase 4teen!

It’s fairly legal and it gets you clean!”

AuntyNazi Phase XIV: Oozing the Spill, Chick

Monday August 24^th 2004

The Chameleon

Nottingham

#15: AuntyNazi make public statement following Minotaurial controversy!

Yesterday at 1800 (GMT) Luke "Anwar" Ferrit and Daniel Oliver were forced to make a public statement via WAP satellite.

After an immediate controversy arose following their performance of AuntyNazi Phase XIII: the Minotaurial Candidate on the 3rd & 4th of July in the Arts Building of Queen Mary's University of London an online mob fury of untold proportions gathered to voice protest. "What they are doing is almost so untrue it's unbelievable!" one man said. Even the placard waved by an under 18 seemed to imply a largely disgruntled position had been taken by the future of British society's female member when it came to AuntyNazi.

From behind their masks Luke and Daniel spoke candiedly about the distinction between "contract impressionism" and evil in an attempt to quash the notion that what they did for people over the two days was wrong. "I read about a performance in Italy where a literally brand new baby still with the tag on was placed alone and nude in front of a serious capacity crowd. Now answer me that. There was an audience full of people who did absolutely what?" offered Daniel. "The problem is potentially that huge members of the pre-booked audience are just forgetting to remember what it is they're actually doing there", barked Luke, arms folded a lot. "It's not getting to a point where a man can barely manage his own existence without some c*nt farting in the background, but people have to recognise that the slabs are taking a shift for the worse. I mean, don't look down, but it's happening under your feet!" he continued, clearly getting both emotional and political in tandem way beyond the script.

Recently described by artist and academic Jordan McKenzie as "a hallucinogenic world of fragmented meaning, private histories and public confessions", this wandering Jew of a world into which AuntyNazi wire their audience with rather wet hands has clearly caused a spark on the Mile End Road. "Everything about [contract impressionism] is pushed to the limit as it unfolds, assaults, confuses, cagoules and seduces its audience. Watching or participating in an AuntyNazi performance is a bit like being given a joke bomb that causes an actual explosion. The work is not easy, as it does not give itself up without a fight", stresses Jordan McKenzie. Indeed we shall see.

Scheduled to perform AuntyNazi Phase XIV: Six Women Swear in Swimwear (Oozing the Spill Chick) on August 24th in Nottingham, Luke "Anwar" Ferrit and Daniel Oliver will inevitably be up against it and be no doubt prepared. Whilst very little information has been made available about the show, a source close to AuntyNazi has reported that Daniel will be armed with a balloon and Luke a pistol...

#14: 6 women swear in swimwear, or oozing the spill chick

Hello Mentees and Welcome!

Thank you for coming and experiencing the Minotaurial Candidate.

Remember, as Daniel Oliver said:

'Having said that before you go, if you do find anything comes up in the mentoring you did in the past here today, and you wanted a different kind of chatshop help, its worth noting that Phase XIV is therapy, what we are doing now, in phase XIV.'

So here it is, phase XIV:

Terse? Dried out?
Get relaxed in the AuntyNazi relaxing relaxation Spa hydrotherapy session. YOU can benefit from the tried untested DRIP 'n' TOUCH tehnique! from the HOPE PIPE! from the DAMPENING WORDPLAY! and the WBB FLOP techniques of AuntyNazi in:

AuntyNazi Phase XIV: 6 Women Swear in Swimwear, or Oozing the Spill

Relaxed? Juiced up already?
Then just watch soothingly and slippery from the specifically situated voyeur arena.

This will be tried out next at The Chameleon in Nottingham on the 24th August.

After that, keep your eyeout!


Cable tie IDs:

AuntyNazi make me a 0000593 - Jo Fraser

AuntyNazi make me a 0000552 - Owen Parry

AUntyNazi make me a 0000595 - Louisa

AuntyNazi make me a 0000577 - Bruce

AuntyNazi make me a 0000582 - Hannah Crosson

AuntyNazi make me a 0000537 - Rachel Gomme

AuntyNazi make me a 0000551 - Keren Kossow

AuntyNazi make me a 0000583 - Natasha

AuntyNazi make me a 0000553 - Markus

AuntyNazi make me a 0000520 - Frauke Requardt

AuntyNazi make me a 0000596 - Hannah Clark

AuntyNazi make me a 0000257 - Helena Hunter

AuntyNazi make me a 0000528 - Faye

AuntyNazi make me a 0000244 - Kate

AuntyNazi make me a 0000425 - Ryen

AuntyNazi make me a 0000242 - Tim Jeeves

AuntyNazi make me a 0000217 - Charlotte

AuntyNazi make me a 0000265 - Emma Leach

AuntyNazi make me a 0000289 - Tim Edkins

AuntyNazi make me a 0000238 - Katie Doubleday

AuntyNazi make me a 0000562 - George (Mouse, no relation to 'Jude')

AuntyNazi make me a 0000241 - Ian Finlay

#13: The wrong place

Flaming 'eck!
The've done it again!

If YOU are below though, you've come up in the wrong place.

Please go here: The Minotaurial Candidate

******************************************************************************************

AuntyNazi make me a 0000284 - Hannah Clarke - The Real Greek

AuntyNazi make me a 0000286 - Nico - The Real Greek